AskJewels

January 28, 2002

Aaahhhh...

Well the big job hunt is on... Bob really wants to move back to Wisconsin, & once again, if we don't do it with our taxes it will never happen. Sooo... I am now seeking employment in Wisconsin. I don't know how I feel about it yet. I'm really sad, & excited & scared at the same time. My sister is having a new baby, & I may be there this time! My 2 best friends fron forever ago may be moving back.. but there's the whole uncertainty that scares me. Where will we live? Can we find jobs? Where will the kids go to school? Will the car be ok driving there? You know...

Oh well, I'll keep trying & keep ya posted.

Been watching Rose Red. It's pretty good. It really sucks trying to watch tv with the kids though. They talk & talk & ask questions & want something to drink but are too scared to get up...when they wanted to watch in the first place. I hate scary movies! Geeze!! Now it's not on agian til Thursday?! What's up with that?

So I've been really really sick with the flu for over a week. And 2 people have asked me..."Did you get your flu shot?" Am I retarded? NO I didn't get a flu shot! I don't think I've ever got a flu shot. Is there some whole medical thing I am missing out on because I'm retarded? I thought only old people were supposed to get flu shots? Oh well... guess I learned my lesson huh? blah.

You know what really makes me mad? When I submit a poem to a website & they give me some lame crap about poet of the year. Yeah, I can go & pick up my silver bowl trophy if I pay $600... what a bargain. I mean yeah, it includes a trip to some huge poetry seminar in Florida, but come on. Thing that makes me sick is thinking of how many poor people actually pay to go...& think that they are actually achieving something. Now if they send you a plane ticket & say you rock! We want you to come...that's different. Ya know? whatever. There's a sucker born every minute...& I'm just glad I'm not one of 'em this time.

Know awhat els sucks? Trying to type with 2 hands. It's like being right handed & trying to write with your left. But i bet if I get the hang of it I could really type like a million words minute, so I'm trying. Really... I'm doing it right now. Feels really weird. Why oh why do I have to learn things backwards & then learn them the right way.

Oh! And get this! I was looking over the want ads, & it was like must have blah blah blah skills, & like big dogs. wtf is that? Eek...gotta go to bed feel really pukey.

Posted by Jewels at January 28, 2002 10:32 PM

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**Welcome to my life...**
Do you ever feel like breaking down? Do you ever feel out of place? Like somehow you just don't belong And no one understands you Do you ever want to run away? Do you lock yourself in your room? With the radio on turned up so loud That no one hears you screaming No you don't know what it's like When nothing feels alright You don't know what it's like to be like me To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked When you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life Do you wanna be somebody else? Are you sick of feeling so left out? Are you desperate to find something more Before your life is over? Are you stuck inside a world you hate? Are you sick of everyone around? With the big fake smiles and stupid lies While deep inside you're bleeding No you don't know what it's like When nothing feels alright You don't know what it's like to be like me To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked When you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life No one ever lied straight to your face And no one ever stabbed you in the back You might think I'm happy But I'm not gonna be ok Everybody always gave you what you wanted You never had to work it was always there You don't know what it's like What it's like To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked When you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like (what it's like) To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked When you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life Welcome to my life Welcome to my life