AskJewels

February 11, 2002

Home again

Well, I'm home with sick kids again (still)... Lucky my boss is the most understanding person in the world, or I'd really be in trouble! Now since Saturday Mandy is getting bloody noses. She sneezed in the car this morning & there was blood in it. So now I'm freaking out. I tried calling the Dr. but it's too early. So now I am calling the ER. I mean she's just a baby, she's only 4.

The nurse said not to worry... & she said the word "snot" heh. She said to try some vaseline, but that this thing is really going around, so... whew! Thank God!

You know, I was thinking last night of things that really irritate me... I was a bit peeved about quite a few things last night. It's really funny how the dumbest little things just grate on my nerves like someone rubbing a balloon. (That really gets to me) I think what I'm starting to realize is that there are so many things that go on in my life right now that are bothering me that I am just overwhelmed. (& need to get over it!) So I'm going to start a list... maybe. I mean, maybe this list would just make me realize I'm being a spaz... again.

Well, I just got a call from an employment agency. This lady said she can't start finding me a job until after we move there, & she said "Well, let me get this straight, you CANNOT move here until you have a job?!" - like I had told her I was blue with pink hair. Uhh, yes woman. I have a family, they need food & a roof over their heads. Not too complicated is it?! I mean really. With 3 kids we both need to be working.

Is that really that complicated? I am not understanding how the real world works? Am I missing out on something? If I don't have a job & I move there is this lady going to come plant a money tree in my back yard? Grrr... I think this is going to be a bad day. Even as I say that it makes it all worse. It makes it seem so destined to be that way. So..I will say this day is starting out bad, but it's going to get a lot better! :) You know there ARE people that will hire me out there. I DO have very good references. Blah. whatever.

Posted by Jewels at February 11, 2002 08:53 AM

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**Welcome to my life...**
Do you ever feel like breaking down? Do you ever feel out of place? Like somehow you just don't belong And no one understands you Do you ever want to run away? Do you lock yourself in your room? With the radio on turned up so loud That no one hears you screaming No you don't know what it's like When nothing feels alright You don't know what it's like to be like me To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked When you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life Do you wanna be somebody else? Are you sick of feeling so left out? Are you desperate to find something more Before your life is over? Are you stuck inside a world you hate? Are you sick of everyone around? With the big fake smiles and stupid lies While deep inside you're bleeding No you don't know what it's like When nothing feels alright You don't know what it's like to be like me To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked When you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life No one ever lied straight to your face And no one ever stabbed you in the back You might think I'm happy But I'm not gonna be ok Everybody always gave you what you wanted You never had to work it was always there You don't know what it's like What it's like To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked When you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like (what it's like) To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked When you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life Welcome to my life Welcome to my life