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April 15, 2002

Greymatter vs. Movable Type

I'm thinking of switching to Movable Type... thanks to Scott who just had to install it & let me see how cool it looks after my installing Greymatter on a 2000 server nightmare. Funny thing, movable doesn't have an e Jewels...duh.

I'm getting more in the posting mood, & keep thinking, well, do people really want to read about my daily happenings, or to see a bunch of links...& then I figure I am what I am, & can't make myself spend more time on my log than I have time to. All I've realy wanted is an online diary type deal. Not a big contest to see who's cooler. I mean, sure it would be nice if people thought I was cool...but, I can't go out of my way to try & please people...right? Aaagghh, so my decision is...a whole redo including movable type. Sucky thing is... Bob hates it when I sit at the computer. So...now it''s 9:25 & I have to decide what to do. Post & work on hwat I have, or do what I always do, & redo & never finish.

I think that's my problem, I'm Miss start something, get all excited & then get sick of it. Ugh. I spent the weekend trying to make a cool game for my kids. Uh, yeah, hours, & all I have to show for it is like this bouncy ball thing & 2 broken games that don't do what I want them to.

My sister is in the hospital...her water broke 6 weeks early. (Her 5th child...her 5th BOY!) The doctor wants her to stay in bed & try to not have the baby for a few days... poor thing. I wish I could be there for her!

My best friend Nikki just had her 5th child today! Second girl, born 4 weeks early & she has the most beautiful name! Julia Taylor :) I never had a baby named after me...funny feling, really nice. I miss Nikki! :'( I haven't sen her for over 10 years. Her poor husband is home with the kids, she's been in the hospital almost a week now with kidney stones, & then labor. Wish I could be there with her too. :'( And Nikki had pregnancy diabetes, so now poor Julia is in the NICU with her blood sugar levels too low.

But...she was 5lbs. 12 oz, so not too bad. :) Nikki seems to be doing well. She really had me laughing, which was good, I've been so worried about her.

My Mom is doing pretty good too. Her second chemo & again she had to go get a shot for 5 days afterward because her white blood count is too low. Weird.

And...my uncle Dennis who has had diabetes for as long as I can remember has been doing really bad. He moved to Arizona with my aunt Sandy...(his sister) & htey said he's VERY sick. Now he's in a wheelchair & had to go to the ER Saturday because he was bleeding from his eyeballs!! What the hell..?! I looked it up, & he may go blind if they don't catch it & fix it soon enough. Poor guy, he's so sweet too. Still to this day calls me "Junior". It's funny.

Well anyhow...it's like my whole family is falling to pieces. I hope everything works out & gets better soon. I've got a lot of praying & thanking to do.

Ok...I'm gonna go figure out if I want a new look or to switch to movable type or what. I spose I'll turn on Trillian & see if Scotts on since we're the can't do anything without the other knowing about it type. Which is like the weirdest thing ever because there were days we really hated eachother, like not even speaking & I suppose a few choice words, mostly on my part...when we were working together. Strange world we live in. I'll be back.

P.S. Yes, it's still May in my world...since I haven't changed my calendar. ack.

Posted by Jewels at April 15, 2002 09:44 PM

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Welcome to my life...
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever want to run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life